Monday, June 25, 2012

Dating at Walmart

I'm not a fan of the Walmart.  Sometimes, it is essential for me to stop in, but if I can avoid it, I do. So when a date called and asked me if I wanted to go to Walmart, my immediate response was, "No, thank you."  Don't get me wrong, I had some of the best kisses ever in a Walmart parking lot, but it is not where one goes on a third date.

Let me back up.  Date one - dinner out where he watched tv over my shoulder and yawned the entire time.  I was peeved that he watched tv and figured he found my conversation boring.   Date two - he called and apologized for being tired on the first date, could we try again?  I told him as long as he didn't watch tv during the date.  (I am learning to be a little more outspoken.) Different restaurant, different ballgame that he watched.  I shit you not.

When he called for the third time, offering an exciting evening of shopping with him at Walmart so that he could stock up on his supplies for the week for his out-of-town job, I was determined not to go, and told him so. He said he would swing by and we could just go to dinner, dinner being the magic word that won me over.  Yeah, I'm easy like that.   He picked me up, and he pulled into Walmart.  I thought he was joking.  He wasn't.

Picture this:  I followed behind him.  I pushed the cart.  He threw items in the cart.  We didn't talk.  He told me to keep up.  I put random items in the cart:  hemorrhoid cream, sardines, breath freshener.  He was not impressed.  I loaded bags in his car.  He took me home.  No dinner.  End of dating.

What I learned?  The first few dates, they should be trying to impress you.  If all they are giving you are dates to Walmart, be forewarned, it will only go downhill from there.  Dating is putting your best effort out there.

*Disclaimer:  I have been on dates to Walmart that rocked.  Thoughtful dates.  I vowed I wouldn't share about the good dates.  However, back in college, after a random comment about I would marry Ronald McDonald because of his icy coke, I had a date who took me to Walmart, bought a disposable camera (old school), and took my picture with the Ronald McDonald statue on a bench in front of the in-store McDonald's.  Now that is a worthy impression date.  

In honor of the date who thought I would like watching him throw Little Debbies in his cart - three boxes of Little Debbies, I made Oatmeal Whoopie Pies that taste exactly like Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies.  Yum!

I used the recipe from the Pioneer Woman.  She gives two options for the filling, but I made the filling that I love for whoopie pies.

My heavy equipment operator. 

Oatmeal Whoopie Pies
from The Pioneer Woman

2 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. butter, softened
1/4 c. shortening (I used a Crisco bar thingie)
2 eggs
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. baking powder
3 Tb. boiling water
1 tsp. baking soda
2 1/2 c. all-purpose flour
2 c. quick oats

Cream brown sugar, butter, and shortening.  Add the eggs and mix well.  Add in the salt, cinnamon, and baking powder.  In a small bowl, combing the baking soda and boiling water.  Add into the larger bowl.  Add in the flour and oatmeal.

Place scoops of the dough on parchment-lined baking sheets.  Bake for 10 minutes in a 350 degree oven.  (Note:  I kept waiting for the cookies to brown, but they don't really brown like you would expect.  We liked the chewier, softer cookies.)  Remove to wire rack and cool completely.  When cool, sandwich two cookies together with the filling.  Store covered in air-tight container in the fridge.  

Marshmallow Filling 
See Pioneer Woman's site for two other options.  This is what I use in whoopie pies.

1/2 c. butter, softened
1 8 oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
2 c. sifted powdered sugar
1/2 7 oz. jar marshmallow cream
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon (optional)
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg (optional)

Beat together butter and cream cheese until smooth.  Add remaining ingredients.  Store leftover filling in the fridge and make more cookies.



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